Ryan Abramson Helps You Find Your Authentic Self

A few years ago, I was standing in a school gymnasium, waiting for a high school fair to begin, when I noticed a group of admission representatives having a lively conversation in the corner. At first, it seemed jovial and fun, but as time passed, the laughter turned into loud voices and nervous body language. Over and over, they kept saying, “the beekeeper, the beekeeper.” I had to know what was going on, so I started walking over. As I approached, it was clear that it was a five-on-one situation, with one very proud participant and five annoyed hecklers. It was then that I learned what “the beekeeper” meant.

It seemed there was an eighth-grade student applying to each of their schools, and they all wanted him to enroll. These representatives were from some of the best and most prestigious private boarding high schools in the country, and this student was a superior candidate. I came to learn that: he was smart, but not the smartest; an athlete, but not a star; he played the violin, but was just proficient; and he volunteered, but only occasionally. So, did they want him because he was an all-around great kid? Nope. In fact, they basically dismissed all of his “average” characteristics. Instead, they were focused on his interview and the story of how he became a beekeeper.

It turns out that when this student was five years old, he got stung by a bee. In an effort to keep him from crying, his mother told him about how beekeepers raise bees, collect honey, and sell it. Then, to soothe the bee sting, she rubbed some natural honey on it. “See,” she said, “the same bee that stung you has also healed you.” And at that moment, a beekeeper was born! Not long after, this young man started raising bees, collecting honey, jarring and selling it, and using the proceeds to grow his business and donate to charities. I think he even had branded t-shirts and hats.

From that moment until today, I’ve become a believer that authentic communication is key to overcoming the competition for attention when you want your voice to be heard. This young man checked all the boxes he was told he needed to check: student, athlete, musician, and volunteer. If this happened more recently, he’d probably have a viral social media presence and appear on vlogs and podcasts. In the end, though, it was his unique, authentic story that broke through all the society-mandated achievements.

As students across the country prepare for their admission interviews—whether for high school, college, military academies, internships, or even their first jobs—it is the ability to share an authentic story, one only you can tell, that will set you apart. In most cases, you have no idea who you are up against. Instead of trying to outdo the next person, focus on how you can make your story so compelling that, even if you’re not selected, you know you gave it your all.

Ryan Abramson asks: Why do we struggle so much in finding our authentic voice?

The answer to this question isn’t simple. Finding our authentic voice can require real introspection and evaluation of our lives up to a certain point. In some cases, maybe we’ve never truly been ourselves, so we don’t have a beekeeper moment. In others, we may just not believe our story is powerful enough. And for some, strong self-awareness makes this task easier. In every case, having a deliberate conversation with yourself can only bring you closer to success.

Now is the Time to Be Authentic

Let’s say you don’t have that shining authentic moment—don’t wait another second. Let’s find it now! Not long ago, a student found himself in this exact situation. He was pretty good at everything—school, sports, visual arts, activities, volunteering. He did it all. Still, there was no great moment that really gave him a chance to be authentic, to tell a story only he could tell. As we sat and ran through the possibilities, something magical happened: he started singing to himself. Off-key, wrong lyrics, and incoherently switching from one song to another—but he was singing. I asked, “Do you like to sing?” “Like to sing?” he responded, “I love to sing.” In the next few minutes, I heard about concerts performed in the shower, rock-out sessions on the drive to school, and jamming to classic rock while walking from class to class. It turned out all his friends knew he was a musical savant. He could spill out facts from Sinatra to Beethoven, and Pearl Jam to Luke Combs. Suddenly, his authentic voice rang through.

So what do we do with this authentic voice?

Many experts will tell you that you need an elevator pitch—that one-minute introduction that captures a person’s attention and makes them want to keep listening, ask questions, and get to know you. The first step in the authentic voice exercise is to develop that elevator pitch. In interviews, this one minute can be a powerful, confident, and memorable opening that impresses the person or panel in front of you. “I love to sing. I’m not very good at it, but I do it anyway. I love music. I can tell you about every genre of music, from classical to rap. My friends all know I love music and count on me to share new songs with them. For the team, I put together the pre-game playlist. For parties, I manage the ‘aux.’ For celebrations, I pick the right jam. When we need to be serious, I get that track ready too.” In this simple minute, I demonstrate: I love music, I know my strengths and weaknesses, I play sports, I have good friends, and I have knowledge. Throughout, I’ve invited questions: What kind of music do you like most? What team are you on? What song did you pick for a celebration or serious moment? By having a strong authentic pitch, I’ve encouraged more conversation, more engagement, and maybe even got the interviewer to hum a song in their head. And now, they remember me.

The same is true in writing essays or submitting writing samples. I ask myself, What is a story only Ryan Abramson can tell. So what is a story that only you can tell? The caution here is that without the immediate back-and-forth that happens in a conversation, it becomes important to focus on the essential details and remember that your audience may not know exactly what you’re talking about. The last thing you want to do is “build a clock when someone only asked you for the time.” So, drafting an essay, having someone read it, and using AI tools to proofread your phrasing are all essential to ensuring you say what you intend to. Still, finding that needle in a haystack is easier when the needle is bright and easy to find. Sharing your authentic self is how you can shine in a sea of hay.

Take Action and Tell Your Story

Almost no one is going to run out and start raising bees. If you’re like me, I have no interest in getting stung! Nevertheless, in my everyday life, there are countless things that only I could talk about—and every day is a chance to discover even more and better things that make me, me. So, let’s flip the script. Stop worrying about whether you will get picked and start focusing on making it impossible for them not to want you. Our goal is to have a group of strangers gather around and be motivated to select us over the competition.

As Muhammad Ali told us: “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee…”